Below are the 17 most recent journal entries recorded in amnestyplease's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, October 10th, 2006
12:04 pm	dude. I made a 95 on a math test. I think i am going to have a heart attack!!!! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 4th, 2006
3:31 pm	AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! There thats all i have to say. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, May 26th, 2006
4:22 pm	Lebenschlecktes.... Kummer Ich bin sehr traurig. Meine Freundin und Ich habe ein grossten Kampf. Ich verstehe nicht. I don't know what to do or what to say with this one. I love her. I honestly do and im scared that this isn't going to work. I feel like i have sent our relationship on a crashcourse out a parachute to save it. I just don't know. I don't know whats right and i don't know what either one of us need. I wish i could know what will happen. I wish i could make it better. and i wish that i could keep her from hurting. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 15th, 2006
6:41 pm	well i think my college carrer may be over now. My dad and i have been hashing it out about my performance in school and my spending habits. I realize that i have been really irresponsible and immature about it but now i think it has come back to kick me in the teeth. My dad is so mad at me and has been so mad at me. I assured him that my finals went well as i thought they had but apparently i was wrong and he already thinks im not honest with him so now that is going to get even worse. my theater class that was supposed to be an easy bird course was an F and my Bui course that i got an A on all of my assignments was a C. Go figure. I apparently suck in school and shouldn't be here. Im sure that will be dads opinion since he said if i dont have A's and B's im comeing home. Well C's and F's aren't by any means There so i am FUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 14th, 2006
3:14 am	so i am over at sara's house tonight. I think someone tried to break into mine and its empty and all over my roommates are gone so it is also depressing. Sara didn't think it was safe for me to stay there so now im here. this crazy crackhead guy just walked into the house this morning and started taking jons things. It was realy sketchy and not so welcome. I gave him food money and a ride before so i guess its my fault but today he came back and scared us pretty bad and now i think he has tried to break in. It's probably for the best that i am leaving that house. Sara and i went to tokyo tonight though. That was amazing. I love her so much. And i am so going to miss her. Then tonight we hung out ith some over her friends from high school which were all also very cool. So today has had its ups and downs but i guess its been a rather good day (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 11th, 2006
6:08 pm	The German final raped me sideways!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just as i predicted. One down... 2 to go and a project. Greatnes!!!! I wish i was on a beach somewhere and the only thing i had to work on was my tan. Lets face it, Ill never have one of those. Damn white boy syndrome sucks big goat nuts with tobasco. well peace out sara says hi Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Avenged seven fold (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 10th, 2006
10:52 pm	Finals offically begin for me tomorrow. i have my german final on thursday and my theatre and history finals on friday as well as a project due. 2 days stands in my way of completion of another year. 2 days until i'm free, and 2 days until i am to realize how much freedom from school sucks. I wish i could stay here with my sara. I want so badly to be with her but i guess it was not meant to happen. I tried so hard to find a way to stay. i guess the time at home will be good and i guess that since this will for sure be my last summer at home that i should go there, but there are so many things keeping me from optimism. I'm too old to live at home. Ive been on my own now for 2 years and home feels like a motel. I feel like some extended guest that is somewhat unwanted and completely displaced. Dad and i butt heads so much on everything and its just not right. Im supposed to be starting my own home, not going back to my childhood home. This is going to be a shaky summer. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 7th, 2006
3:00 am	so i have 1 week to move out. And i am not looking forward to it. I am so going to have withdrawls from this girl. She is so special to me. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006
11:49 pm	tonight was a good night.Sara filmed the movie for my blount group then we hung out and went to krispy kreme then to books a million. The best thing though was when sara learned that Wendy, the evil manager at her work, was asked to leave. I am so happy for her and i know this will take alot of stress off of her. We had a good time together. I really love her, im not telling her how i am proposing though, no matter wha. So sara... gie it up, you'll know when it happens. PS.. Have a great day!!!! (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 29th, 2006
1:06 pm	I saw ginny topless again!!!!!!!!!! YUK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO CUT OUT MY EYES BUT IM SCARED THAT SINCE IT WAS THE LAST THING I SAW THAT IT WOULD BE EMBEDDED IN MY HEAD FOREVER. lOCK THE FUCKING DOOR IF YOU ARE GOING TO GET NASTY!!!! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 27th, 2006
12:09 am	Pulled the shades down to keep it dark but the sun is burning, the sun is burning. Take me home. Make me home. Where is home? I don't realy know anymore. As much as it is, it isn't. Like a summer rose im a victim of the fall. But im soon returning. soon returning. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
4:23 pm	Just 2 more weeks: This is such a bittersweet end to the year. I am ready to not have to worry about class and tuscaloosa mess for a while but i am so going to miss my wonderful girlfriend. She has become about the only friend i have and without her everything is going to be so empty. I wish that i could stay with her but im sure the trip home will help me get ready for school here in the fall. Life is so complicated some times. Nothing can be really clearly good or bad. Its confusing. I guess that all depends on perseption as well. You can find good in anything or bad in anything if you try hard enough. Life is just subject to the beholder. That reminds me of a song " Beauty, its only skin deep, its in the eye of the beholder and my beholder's about to tweek." haha. I love the blood hound gang. They can lighten any situation. Anyways, I think it is time to be studious since thats the only way ill get to be back next year. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
2:14 pm	Sometimes god take us where we don't want to be. Just keep in mind he does it all for a reason. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 21st, 2006
4:35 pm	Sometimes you don't understand yourself untill you make a potentialy fatal mistake. Sometimes when you lose you win. and sometimes it takes a heart ache to help you understand the blessings that you have. I made the absolute biggest mistake of my life this week and followed the next biggest mistake of my life. Well im not sure if the order is right but they were the top too. I hurt the person that i love the most in the world and have lost her trust. I really have nothing to say in my defence because there is nothing to defend. I made a huge mistake. I am though going to say that i am so thankful for the beautiful soul she has and that she is willing to work through this. She is so wonderful, more so than anyother human that I've even met. He forgiving heart and her love are only traits that i thought God could have. Not a person. She has really tought me a lesson in humility, pride, love, and restored my faith in people. It even gives me hope for myself. In all of my dreams i never imagined i could meet a woman like this. And now that i have and she loves me i realize that there are many things about me that must change. One is that i am selfish... at times i only think about how things will affect me and not everyone else around me. I put on this noble mask of humanitarian when really all i am doing is trying to fill some area in my life i feel like is no longer there. In this case my role as a protector. That isn't my place anymore. I am not everyones rock. I am her rock, and her protector. I am hear heart and my love is only for her. I am also a coward.... Makeing me dishonest. I have always had issues with honesty. I am a liar. I hate more than life to admit that i am wrong or have done something wrong. I hate to look bad and i hate to be the one to hurt people. But in a relationship im no longer me. I am she and I. We are one and we are together, one body and one spirit and when i am dishonest to her i am killing part of me. Because thats what she is. Part of me. The better part of me. Also I have a problem with forgivness. Had the tables been turned i would have had a much harded time doing what she has done. I would like to think that i would have but its hard to say. After her example though and through her love i have really been put in my place. I know i am wrong and i know now there is nothing that she could do that would shake the way i feel for her. I trust her completely and i love her forever deeply. I have learned so much from this situation this week and from her, my love. She has toughtme a hard lesson in relationships and has done so much to make me believe in love. I feel so much stronger because of her and i know that even though life is so difficult right now. With her this is going to be ok, it is going to work, and i can be strong enough. And i know that we are going to both have to be there to pick each other up when we fall. She has done her part. Now i have to do mine and let her know that she is it and prove to her that my love is for her and that i am there, and this will never happen again. It may take time... but i intend to be there forever so time is something i have to give. I love her. Forever and ever. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, April 17th, 2006
12:04 am	MY LITTLE SISTER IS ENGAGED!!!!! Current Mood: ecstatic (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 15th, 2006
2:59 pm	Meanings. What does it mean and exactly how should it make you feel? This is a problem i struggle with. I feel one way and then later another but what is right? I wish i knew. So many interpretations, so many explainations, but which one is the original intent. Its a bit unsettleing. But its stupid eh. Completely. Maybe. How would it affect things and though it shouldn't if it came down to it, would it? I just wonder what exactly it means and why it is set up that way. Maybe its not really upsetting, but it makes me think, and question. and wonder why what and if: there is no specific list. And if it didn't then i dare not say it does. For the discovery has already prompted a new hiding place. And the illumination could cause more dunkelin als den hell. So should i, shant i, and if so then should it also be kept in the darkness. Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: short stories with tradgic endings (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, April 14th, 2006
12:09 am	Inside. 1209... Waiting and wondering what i have and where i am going. Last time i tried, burned it down, blew it up, dispite all of my might set on the creating and repair of something good. (1 Comment |Comment on this)